Headlines | Definite Article Banned

Global | Culture | Woke | 29 January 2023

Associated Press stylebook updated

The Associated Press (AP) Stylebook has been updated and recommends banning the definite article ('the').

An AP spokesperson explained:

Using the definite article implies a specificity that may not actually exist. For example, there is no such thing as 'the French' only people who exhibit 'frenchness'.

People like the cast of Allo? Allo? for example...Good moaning!

We are also considering banning the indefinite article ('a') since this also implies a specificity that does not really exist. For example, 'a man' or 'a woman', which are both clearly ambiguous terms for everyone and simply cause confusion. The preferred term is now 'it' as in Cousin It.

Abandoning the definite article would definitely make things easier when texting, as for example the phrase 'The cat sat on the mat' can be significantly shortened to 'cat sat on mat', saving precious time to allow you to add an influential selfie to your text.

A recent protest-burning of the AP Stylebook in Sweden by Swedish grammarians has caused shockwaves around the world. Even Swedish Lutheran minister Greta Thunderberg became involved when she chastised the grammarians for adding to Stockholm's air pollution by burning paper in an open space.

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