Headlines | Cannabis Sweeties

Global | Food | No Topic | 21 September 2022 | 22

Sweetie dope helps children get high

FNN has learned that sweeties containing THC - the chemical that gives users a high - are appearing in British corner shops with fake brand names and packaging to mimic that of well-known brands. Children are buying the sweets at lunch breaks and spending their school afternoons stoned.

You can spot the new sweeties by the unusual combination of confectionary brand names:

  • Boost Reefer
  • Frys Turkish Bong
  • Gummi Manga Ganja
  • Munchie-Crunchy
  • Jelly Beaned Brain Cells
  • Pot Picnic
  • Sherbet Dab
  • Stoner Snickers
  • Toke Topic

A spokesperson for the Dope Organization Sweetie Syndicate (DOSS) told FNN:

With all their mental health issues, exposure to online porn and now the added cost of living crisis, today's children need all the help they can get. And parents need help too! So we think these sweeties are a far better solution than Ritalin or Nanny's naughty step.

Aging Australian hippie, Bill "Bonger" Heslop commented:

Far out!

...and then collapsed in a heap with the giggles.

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