Headlines | Hamster Man Saved

USA | Travel | Dumblebore | 09 September 2023 | 2

US coastguard save man heading for UK

A skeletal man was rescued off the Florida coast by the US coastguard when they found him in an emaciated state after just 70 miles of running in his hamster-wheel vessel.

The human powered vessel was being used to attempt the first crossing of the Atlantic by hamster wheel.

Unfortunately the effort needed to power the wheel and a daily diet consisting only of a box of Trill bird seed and a liter of water was not enough.

The sailor weighed only 18 kilos when he was picked up by the coastguard and transferred to a cage full of warm sawdust onboard the pickup vessel.

Australian Bill "Hammy" Heslop, who identifies as a marsupial, told FNN:

Good on yer cobber! I tried to hop across Australia until I broke my hip just outside of Sydney and had to give up.

Hey Muriel! Fetch me a tinnie. I'm parched.

Like this? Never miss out on future FNN news by subscribing to our RSS feed.
Share Link: https://fakenewsnetwork.uk/app/article.php?id=49289605e4fd75cd2d729a3acb5b8e31
Warning! This is fake news. Do not share with people who might be daft enough to believe it or are offended by anything they do not agree with.

Copyright Tripos Publishing Limited 2020. All Rights Reserved.