UK | Business | Dumblebore | 18 September 2022
Chancellor may scrap cap on banker bonuses
While energy prices are to be capped and the EU is trying to cap the price of Russian oil and gas imports, it is now the turn of bankers to tighten their belts in cost-of-living-crisis Britain.
This is because the Chancellor is expected to drop the cap on banker bonuses in order to make the city more competitive (financial code for lucrative).
A more 'competitive' City means that City insiders earn more money and the Chancellor is guaranteed a plum job when he is kicked out of office to ensure he too earns 'loadsamoney' in the future. The geniuses that run the banking sector, whose last great achievement was the 2008 crash, could now be looking forward to eyewatering bonuses while everyone else is huddled in front of their electricity pre-payment meter.
Wolf of Wall Street Jordan Belfort had this to say:
Bankers like to deal with problems by becoming rich. Anyway...how are they going to buy cocaine and hookers without bonuses?
Australian finance expert Bill "Big-Short" Heslop commented:
Bonuses are like boomerangs - if you don't watch out they return to bite you (the bonus-giver that is). Which is just a fancy way to say you poms are all fucked! Hey Muriel! Fetch me a tinny. I'm parched.
Like this? Never miss out on future FNN news by subscribing to our RSS feed.
Share Link: https://fakenewsnetwork.uk/app/article.php?id=40532f6a473d930359749f4655fb3ad4
Warning! This is fake news. Do not share with people who might be daft enough to believe it or are offended by anything they do not agree with.
Copyright Tripos Publishing Limited 2020. All Rights Reserved.